There was seriously a video of me on the news and I missed it. It's a video of me FLYING. All Superman style. I wish I'd have seen it. Somebody at work was talking about it.
This is the first time I've ever been on television. I mean, it was just the local news, but the PUNCHERNAUT IS ON TV!!
After I heard this, I spent the rest of the evening looking up stuff about the Iris Pirate on Google, just to see if she was getting better press than me. I found some stuff in the Post-Crescent, their local newspaper.
She stopped a damn BANK ROBBERY! I've never stopped a bank robbery! I just fight super villains and shit! I stop the occasional mugging or liquor store robbery, but never a BANK ROBBERY!
Oh that burns my biscuits.
When my friend from Appleton gets here, I'm going to drill her on this eyepatched floozie calling herself a super hero.
I'm a super hero! Not some fancy girl waving her butt around in front of news reporters!
Total attention whore. TOTAL.
I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN WEAR AN EYE PATCH
Haven't had time to go on patrol lately. Getting home too late to spend the night out. I'm off tonight, so after I take my cousin home from work, I think I might go on a midnight run.
Well, it's after midnight, but you know what I mean.
God damn Iris Pirate.
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