Fragments of a Superhero's Return

"THIS IS MY TOWN!" I bellow before exploding out of the sky, back down toward the city.

I smell trouble.

-----

WHAM! Something bounces off the side of a semi trailer .

The two men with flashlights that are robbing the truck depot look up from what they're doing and both of their cries of fear are cut off by strong, authoritive hands covering their mouths.

Moments later they stumble into the road, their hands bound behind them with bent tire irons. Their pants are down around their ankles. Something triggered the alarm in the depot office, signalling the police.

The police see something streaking across the sky just as they pull up in front of the two pantsless thieves.

-----

Two kids, no older than 11 are on the playground at Washington Elementary, sitting on the swings, lighting cigarettes one of them pinched from his mother's purse.

They cough on the harsh smoke as they gasp in surprise when the Punchernaut crashes into the jungle gym. As he untangles himself from the bars, he curses and spits, frustrated.

They're frozen as he marches up, pinches the cigarettes from where they hang from their loose, surprised lips. He throws them into the asphault and steps on them.

"Quit that," He says, "It makes you look stupid."

And with that he's ripping straight up and out of sight.

One of the boys, wide-eyed, whispers, "Cool."

-----

A meth lab bust on the north end of town goes awry when the operator makes a break for the back door. He leaps the fence and the cops are too slow to follow.

The officers scramble over the fence in time to see the Punchernaut holding the guy's head under the water of the neighbors' kids' wading pool. Their flashlights fall over the Punchernaut's face and he looks at them like a deer caught in headlights before vanishing again.

Within seconds the perp is in handcuffs and on his way to the back of a squad car.

-----

Along highway 41, an old couple is pulled aside to the shoulder, desperately studying a map in the dim dome light of their 87 Olds.

A strange man in a dress shirt and tie literally falls out of the sky and hits the pavement, head-first. He stands, shakes his head, and then looks at them. Desperately they

Choked with fear, the old couple lock the doors. They're starting to roll the windows up, but before they know it, the man is at the window. He has an eyepatch on.

"Looks like you're lost," the mysterious cyclopian stranger says, "Where you headed?"

The old man in the driver seat says in a quivering voice, "W-we're trying to get to Oaktown..."

The man in the tie gives them directions and then runs off down the road before taking to the air again.

They didn't even have a chance to thank him.

-----

A dog wanders into the street at the wrong moment.

A car full of teenagers, passing around a bottle of Grey Goose speeds down the road.

The driver, a girl of about 17, screams and slams on the breaks, but it's too late.

Or so she thinks.

She hits a man instead, that was not there half a second ago. His hands drive into the hood of the car and his legs slip under the car. Everybody piles out of the car, a cloud of shuffling feet and "Holy shits".

The man is gone.

The dog is gone.

Huge hand-shaped dents are made in the hood of the car.

At that moment, a police siren breaks their stunned silence.

The kids scatter.

-----

Jessica Turner, age 9, sits on her back steps. It's well past her bedtime, but Molly, her basset hound, had disappeared hours before.

"Excuse me."

She turns to her left and sees the man from the papers standing there in his tie and his eyepatch. He's holding Molly in his arms.

"Excuese me," he says again, "But is this your dog?"

Without saying anything the Jessica Turner, age 9, rushes to the man and to the dog and takes the dog from him and twirls as Molly licks happy tears from the girl's face.

By the time she turns to thank him, he's gone again.

-----

The Neighborhood Watch car pulls up at a red light.

Dark eyes stare through dark glasses at the dark intersection.

There's a sound like machine gun fire and the man with the dark glasses lays down across the front seat, covering his head, waiting for the inevitable sound of shattering glass, but it's not a rain of bullets. Something else is hammering into the side of his car.

Braying, cackling laughter interrupts the dangerous silence.

The man called Duke gets out of his car and inspects the damage.

A whole carton of eggs has been splattered against the side of his car.

He catches a glimpse of the Punchernaut as he takes to the sky.

"LATER JERKS!" the "hero" cries.

Duke's ancient lips pull themselves into a humorless smile.

What? I can't be good ALL the time.