PUNCHERNAUT UPDATE!!

Okay, I finally got the Jiftofen story out. Sorry it took so long, Puncherfans, but I've been so busy in the last month, I wouldn't be able to do the story justice.

The zeppelin crash-landed over on the Illinois side of the river in an abandoned field. There were no civilian casualties and the flight roster said that everybody but Jiftofen was arrested. Evidently it was a huge mess getting all those freaks into the backs of cars, and we were pulling police units down as far as Indianapolis to maintain them all. The feds even showed up! I didn't see any of it, except for on the news later that day once I got home.

I got some good press, too. Once again, I'm being hailed as a hero. Nobody knows Jiftofen was in town just to get me, so I guess I'm in the clear as far as that goes. The weird thing is, Jiftofen wasn't arrested, and his body wasn't found. Any of you familiar with your comic books knows that he's probably still alive and he'll show up again. Just like Dr. Doom. Just when the Fantastic Four thinks they got him, it was one of his damn Doombots.

My shoulder took almost three weeks to heal. Whatever he shot me with, it burned right through me. It didn't get infected, thank God. The Wabash is a filthy river, and I was scared of what I might catch, even with my superhuman immune system.

I took two of those three weeks off. I didn't even go on patrols. Finally I saw in the paper that everybody was wondering where I was, so I decided to go on patrol and let a few security cameras and civilians see me.

As far as breathing underwater goes, I did some experiments. I've now got gills on my neck. Luckily, when I'm not breathing with them, they kind of blend in with my skin and you can't see them unless you're really looking for them. I filled the bathtub while I was home by myself one day and laid down. It's incredible! It shouldn't make any sense, but I'm breathing underwater.

THROUGH MY NECK

The police are angrier at me than ever for doing their jobs for them. I love it.

In other news, in like five days I'm going to Wisconsin to pick up my girlfriend.

The girlfriend that I think might be the Iris Pirate.

She's moving in with me...

We'll see how that goes...

So until next time, Puncherfans, keep your eyes to the sky and your fists to the jaw of the unjust.

Or whatever.

I need a catchphrase.