Shatzi Von Jiftofen (Epilogue)

I lost sigh of Jiftofen in the murky water. I turned to swim back to the surface, but something slammed into me. It was hot. I realized it was the engine from one of our planes. I tried to swim around it, but it was caught on my shirt.

I struggled and tried to rip my sleeve off, but it wouldn't come loose. I felt weak.

I've over-exerted myself. Transforming into a shark, time travel, transforming back, blowing up a zeppelin, crashing a Nazi biplane. I guess I'd just done too much in one day.

And the one good way to kill somebody that's bulletproof is to drown them.

I felt my arms go weak from lack of air.

I should have seen this coming.

I'm not a superhero. I'm just some punk kid from a planet far, far away, and even there nobody wanted me. I'm a menace to the authorities here on the planet where I live. And now, here in this polluted river, it's all over.

I'm through.

I thought back over all of my adventures. All of the ones that nobody even knows about. Fighting King Gator in the sewers with GURP-O.

I thought about the time Figbot and I wrestled gorillas on top of the apartment building where my best friend used to live.

I thought about the Iris Pirate and her eye of blue...

I thought about Professor Whimsey when he and I... Wait a minute.

Whimsey!!

What was it he told me?

I gasped.

Wait, I can gasp underwater?

My fingers push themselves through the water and I find on my neck three long slits, all of them sucking water in. There are three on the other side, too.

"Breathe with your neck."

If Whimsey was here, I'd kiss him.

Moments later, I'm crawling out of the river. I stop breathing with my neck and I make my way to the waiting crowd. They see me and they all start to cheer. I flash them my best superhero smile. I'm covered in mud and my shoulder is still bleeding, probably infected from that filthy water, but I feel great.

I look up into the sunny sky and I feel the heat on my flesh and I smile.

I'm still alive.

And with that thought in my head I rip up, up, up and away through the heavens, headed home.